did you know you can use an orange peel as a mini flamethrower?
TRY IT !
"Miss, do you really expect me to believe that you accidentally burned your house down with an orange peel?”
"Uh, it looked cool on the internet?"
(Source: sixpenceee, via amyplaystuba)
one time my uncle bought a tumbleweed so every time one of his students made a bad joke he could roll it across the classroom
How do you buy a tumbleweed?
vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”
Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…
stay in school y’all
i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing
if there is one thing i will NEVER forgive the hp movies for doing is when in the sectumsempra scene, in the book harry is literally on the verge of tears with guilt and shock and drops to his knees next to draco and hes like trying to cough out some sort of reasoning
and in the movies hes just like :)
“A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.
Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.”
Happy September 1st, y’all!
(Source: stannisbarathcon, via starsareunderground)
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